THIS IS THE REALEST SINCE KUMBAYA



Yesterday started like any other for Sixers backup combo guard Willie Green. Upon entering the warm hearth of camaraderie that is the Sixers locker room, he was welcomed by his mentor, Allen Iverson, who shouted over the din of reporters:

"That's an ugly shirt, Willie"

He was referring to the burgundy and yellow blouse that Green was rocking. Much a guffaw was had at Green's expense. Inside him burned the fire of a thousand suns...HOW MUCH LONGER WILL THESE HOSTILITIES CONTINUE!? He reached deep inside and turned that pain into gain. When Coach Jim O'Brien called his number, finally called his number (after he received a two straight DNP-Coach's Decision's), he went out and unleashed all his burgundy and yellow fury on the Denver Nuggets.

Assisted by amateur fashion critic, Iverson's near triple double, Willie put the Sixers over the hump, scoring 17 points in the last 16 minutes.

The performance prompted Nuggs forward Carmelo Anthony to declare, "I was going to put money on his motherfucking brains, but then he seemed so lively out there...it is the holidays after all."

After the game, Iverson praised his young student:

"It made me feel good to be his teammate. He could've easily put his head between his legs and when it was time for him to be called on, he might not have been ready. But he was ready."
Um, I am fairly sure that A.I. meant Willie had his head in the sand. But I will co-sign the idea that, had Green had his head between his legs the whole oxygen to the brain thing might've stymied the fucking offensive spaz attack the homie had. Green who recently told the Sixers website that the Wayans brothers romp, White Chicks, was, "funnier then I thought it would be," seemed to take his good fortune in stride, "I just wanted to do something to spark the team," as he disappeared into the Philadelphia night. Adieu, sweet prince.