Thursday, November 13, 2003

Cause when we come for your ass, Aladdin wont be the only one the carpet

In a run between alumnus (let's use that term loosely, shall we?) of various stroried institutions, those college programs who have produced the best the NBA has to offer, who would you bet your 401k on?
Carolina? Arizona? Kansas?
Nobody parts it up the middle like Bob Huggins. Peep this squad of recent um, graduates, from the University of Cincinnati. From Bob Huggins factory of ballers. AND I AIN'T EVEN COUNTING OSCAR FUCKING ROBERTSON. Because that wouldn't be fair.

Danny Fortson-Eats babies with crab seasoning everyday. Daily. Probably would punch his dad in the face if the old man tried to box him out.
Cory Blount-Maybe not the steady baby-munching glass cleaning beast that Fortson is. But he ain't no slouch.
Nick Van Exel- Come on. I know he's got one knee and the temperment of a kid who just peed himself because his sandcastle got swept up in the sea. But he can be Pearl Monroe when he applies himself. Right now he's running with Lil Dunny, Calbert Cheaney, Erick Dampier and Troy Murphy and he's still got the Warriors above .500.
Rueben Patterson- Here you got the babysitter's favorite. And the Kobe-Stopper (even though Kobe torches his shit). What this squad has, above all else, is chemistry. Marinate on that.
DeMarr Johnson- Kid broke his neck! And he's still an Atlanta Hawk! What more do you want? Willis Reed ain't got nothing on DeMarr. (ps. I don't think I've ever seen dude play)
And on the bench? How about Steve Logan and his neckbeard and Kenny Satterfield with his socks pulled up to his hips, both redefining the point guard position with their total and complete passing.

Bring on Rash and Stack and Antawn and Joe Forte! Bring on Paul Pierce and, er, Nick Collison. Shit, Cincy will take on the high school squad of T-Mac, Garnett, Kobe, Amare and Tyson fuckin' Chandler. Bearcats take all comers!

These are the kind of things I think about right before I go to sleep.


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