Wednesday, December 01, 2004


Things are not going so well in Screwston. After aquiring Tracy McGrady over the off-season, the Rockets looked poised to rise like cream to the top of the West. But the Boss Hog Outlawz are playing like half and half.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that 1993 Heisman winner, Charlie "You Need To Get Jesus In Your Life" Ward is their starting PG. Could be that T-Mac is getting double teamed and Yao has still not found his beast mode. Regardless of the reason, they're 3-7 in their last 10, and 6-10 on the season.
When you are desperately anticipating the return of BOB SURA then you know you got issues. Sura had this prediction for his comeback, "My ability to get in the lane and create easier plays for (McGrady) and Yao, rather than those guys having to work for everything they get, will lighten the load on those guys a little bit. My ability to get in there and get rebounds and try to push the ball and create some easier opportunities for us, we haven't been able to get too much on the fast break, or too many shots in transition, so hopefully I'll help out that way."

That's right, Homie. You are Pistol Pete. We got it twisted.

Gollum-like Head Coach Jeff Van Gundy, who is known to get so stressed during games that coaches next to him begin losing their hair, said, "We're medicore." Not to put too fine a point on it, Sunshine.

When asked what he could do to turn the frown upside down, Yao Ming said, "We've lost our direction." The Ming continued, "I feel like I must take leadership from he who is bald like egg . I engaged with him in discussion about the future of our Clan. I said, 'Choose the sword, and you will join me. Choose the ball, and you join your mother... in death. You don't understand my words, but you must choose. So... come boy, choose life or death.' In Shanghai we have a saying.'It is not a game.'


At 9:26 PM, Blogger Mr. Babylon said...

Yao will never be dominant in the League. His 7'6" height listing is deceiving. If you take wingspan into account the dude is only 5'8". There's a reason the other players call him "T-Rex."

At 11:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Bobby Sura is a good addition to a team bc he's a team guy with a strong heart. I've always thought he was a good player, you need guys like him on a team. he's solid, i actually love him

At 12:05 AM, Blogger brian said...

Bobby Sura, despite his faults, was an absolute terror for the original incarnation of NBA 2K for the Sega Dreamcast. Along of course, with 'other formidable white guy' Raef LaFrentz. Oh the entry passes!

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Hawaiian Sophie's Ex said...

Damn! The Bob Sura comment seems to have struck a nerve! Did you dudes go to Florida State or soemthing?

At 7:17 PM, Blogger brian said...

This was also a videogame where Marbury would finish each night going 21 for 25. Bob Sura blows. But 1999 video game Bob Sura was unstoppable...kind of like those guys in NES RBI Baseball who were immortalized because they hit .300 for three months in 1985.

At 9:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn;t go to Fla State but I feel that Sura is a pretty good player for a team, in that he seems to respect the team game


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