HIGH LIKE GIRAFFE ASS






The Pistons just want everyone to know that the road to San Antonio goes through Detroit. Get a trip-tik, duke. Now you may ask, Oh seer of seers, how will the Motown Get Along Gang continue to push their reign on the top beyond leprechaun proportions? Easy. Teamwork. When Carlos Arroyo got into a little bit of turkey-burger level beef with D-Notz last night, he got himself ejected. But you know what? The team stuck together like putty, toddlers. Check what this site's patron saint had to say:

"I don't know what happened, but I am sure he had his reasons. He didn't do it because he just felt like he wanted to get into it. But I am with him. I don't care what happened. If he felt like that, I felt like that."

One is reminded of the oft-used aphorism, "RIDE OR DIE." If Milwaukee had this kinda brotherhood they wouldn't even fucking need Jamaal Magloire! Love is the currency!





Another reason for the Pistons constant headlock application to the East is the crafty GM-manship of Joe Dumars. Looks like the God is going to lock up the services of Tayshaun Prince (he of, "THE THING ABOUT PRINCE IS THAT HE IS SO LONG" and "PRINCE HAS TREMENDOUS UPSIDE" fame). Shit runs so smoothly in the D that Dumars makes jokes about contract negotiations. He ambled up to Prince as the two were checking out of a hotel:

"I told him, 'You should pay this bill.' I had been on the phone with his agent all day."

Dumars continued:

"And pick up the tab for that mini-bar, too! Stoli Vanilla doesn't grow on trees. Although if I get any more of these rings I might just change the fucking game, go into agriculture and see if I can't fix that! I'm about to put your grandchildren's grandchildren through grad-school. This round's on you, baller."

Perhaps invigorated by the Prince-purchased Bloody Mary's, Dumars held court on the subject of Mike Dunleavy Jr., a small forward with similar time served as Prince, who is on the verge of getting 50 million from the Warriors. When asked if Dunleavy's huge contract could impact his negotiations with Prince, Dumars replied:

"Yo, Chris Mullin can give Opie whatever he wants. Chris Mullin got a fucking Angel Dust problem too. That mean I gotta get me one of them? I saw Baron Davis hobbling down the ave. in Oakland talking 'bout ain't no half steppin'. That dude has 8 power forwards and J-Rich. Come see me when you're playing in May, Cock-Knocker."

I CARRY STRIPES IN HOOD. I AM ZEBRA.
















Shit, we're possesed like a gun charge over here. Denver is looking mighty healthy this year. Got a few qualms with Kiki signing Earl Watson this off seas. You know who else has beef with that signing? Earl fucking Watson, that's who! Dude kept Memphis afloat last season while JWill was playing like a meth addict robbing a fucking Sonic (don't know what that means). Kiki signed dude to shore up the backcourt (and probably as an insurance policy in case the Nugs traded the always tradeable Andre Miller), but now it seems like the only wood Earl's gonna see is that on which he will be sitting. Because he will be sittng on the bench. Not playing.
Check head coach and friend of Monterey Jack Burgers everywhere, George Karl:
"Earl's a very good basketball player, (but) it's just playing time. How much playing time do you have for three (point) guards? It's very hard. You've got 48 minutes."

A fine grasp of rules and regulations and the limitations imposed by said rules. He ain't going to Springfield for nothing. George went on:

"And I think Andre's got to be on the court for at least 30 of those minutes and Earl (Boykins), last year, was as good a bench player as there was in basketball."

This is the kind of thing you wanna think about before dedicating several million dollars to a dude. Saying.

Karl will fiigure it out though. He does stuff like this:





















Stop stealing his fucking adlibs! Anyone notice anything about the first pic? Kenyon: straight Vin Dieseling. Carmelo? He's loving it.
















Lala needs to put you on the Trim Spa game, Melo. Stop Snackin'!

TICKLE ME PINK LIKE...


















Keep your x-ray in top shape. Don't wanna catch nothing on the Usher tour or whatever. Inside, El Ron talks about wanting to box Ben Wallace for 10 mil on pay-per. He also says he and Larry Bird were brought together by the biggest VP of basketball operations there is...YAHWEH. His name doth ring out, no?

BACK IN THE GARAGE WITH MY BULLSHIT DETECTOR




Eddy Curry's heart beat sounds like Sasquatch feet! Blind, crippled or crazy, Isaiah Thomas will give you major figures. He swiped Baby Shaq from the bum-ticker pile, trading the lockeroom equivalent of Avian Bird Flu (I see you, Tim T.!) and some spare parts for the promising center. Larry's boys are shaping up to be the best shit on hardwood since those scrappy crackers from Hoosiers! So says, Thomas: "I have a lot of confidence in our medical staff."



True motherfucking story.

Rookie Channing Frye already smashed up his foot, but that don't mean he doesn't stay sharpening his darts!














Next generation, homefry. And when Nate Robinson isn't throwing himself alley-oops in the middle of games, he's putting the groupie game on smash!



Holler at a real player! The Knicks! They play basketball!