THEN THEY CALL THE SHIT THE BOMB SMACK

Adam Morrison's got the Panic! at the Rectory suit rocking.




















Jesuits have more fun. It was definitely a step up from this:




















Nice pleats, God. Looks like he pulled a B&E on the fucking Gap...in 1988. Actually...looks like a two-man job:




















The fact that these two play online Halo 2 together is one of the fucking factoids of the century. Who gets to be Master Chief?! Was I alone in hearing Stu Scott shout, "METALLICA IS COMING TO CHI-TOWN," even though Morrison's mustache is going all in for the B-Cats?

Hilton Armstrong just screams "You stay classy, Oklahoma City/New Orleans."




















Rudy Gay's more, "YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HOUSTON/PORTLAND/CHICAGO/TORONTO/ATLANTA."














caught on quote:

Just know that the hand you're handed my not be your own- Jay Bilas.

Keith Van Horn is not the next Larry Bird- Dan Patrick

HE REMINDS ME A LOT OF ARTEST AND RODMAN.- Isaiah

Stuart Scott: The New York fans are booing about whatever it is they boo about.
Bargnani: I AM FROM EUROPE.




















Did Bosh sign that extension yet? Somewhere Villanueva raised a non-existant eyebrow. As someone with a better memory than me pointed out: The evolution of Bryan Colangelo into GM of the 21st Century is pretty funny considering he traded Kidd for Marbury. Just saying.

Stephen A.: SKILES IS LOOKING FOR HARDCORE INDIVIDUALS.




































....were both otherwise detained so:















Chicago is going to damage people's mindscapes. That's a sweater-vest, my man. Wear it with pride. Get some Skittles in you.

Apparently when Shelden Williams arrived at Duke, Coach K., molder of minds told him he just
needed to be himself...




















So he got really into color-coordinating his closet. He looks good in earth tones, no?

All teams say they like to run. Some actually can. As an alternative, some like to grind. But only visionaries like Billy Knight build their teams on the Epcot Center height requirement model. Only ye who are 6-6 to 6-8 may enter yonder locker room. The Hawks: Moving FORWARD WITH FORWARDS.

PG- Joe Johnson
SG- Josh Smith
SF- Al Harrington (probably not)
PF- Sheldon Williams
C- ...

That's a dynamic fucking squad. I think they could use maybe a slashing, inside-outside 3-man. Someone around...6-7. Oh shit, JON BENDER IS SINGLE!


















For real. Winners: ORLANDO GOT REAL GOOD. I know...JJ...one hand on the steering wheel, one hand on the new Coors can with that lining that keeps shit icey. But he can shoot, right? Him, Jameer, Dwight and Darko? All they gotta do is paste Grant Hill with some of that liquid-nanotech-robot goo that Robert Patrick had in T2 and maybe let STACEY AUGMON LIVE A FUCKING LITTLE (RUNNING REBELS STAY RUNNING) and they might take the Southeast. I said it.

NO/OKC: So fucking smart. They are one person with a a solid jumper away from the playoffs. Rasual Butler needs to go grab Dennis Hopper and Gene Hackman and shoot 1200 jumpers a day. I'm riding for this band of gypsies. Win this one for BIRDMAN.



















Never forget.

Clevleland: Daniel Gibson and Shannon Brown are what the fuck is up. Dan Ferry says Gibson, "really shoots the ball naturally." Word. Roy Hobbes. Ferry continued, "He can really motor side to side and stay in front of people. That combination for us is really important.” That's a god damn dazzling menu Gibby's got! Some GM's look for dudes who have no lateral movement and are constantly falling behind their man. Not Ferry. Always be closing, Blue Devil: "Eric Snow, um, his shooting style is kinda unnatural. E was playing hooky the day Yahweh handed out jumpers. Get my drift? That's my man, though. He's the only one around here old enough to remember Moonlighting. We're just like Maddy and David! What a pair! We have laughs together."